Odyssey: A Long Wandering and Eventful Journey

Malam itu, aku terdiam di kamarku yang tidak terlalu besar. Keadaanku baik-baik saja, namun seperti ada yang tidak beres. Entah, aku belum menemukan jawabannya saat itu. Aku menimang-nimang kembali perjalanan yang menghantarkanku ke titik ini. Tidak ada yang keliru, semua tampak normal. Barang-barang di sekelilingku menyeret perhatianku, satu per satu kutatap mereka. Kemudian aku berfikir, keberadaan mereka seharusnya membuatku bahagia, tetapi aku merasakan hal yang berbeda. Aku tidak sesemangat dulu, ketika pertama kali aku menjumpainya. Seperti ada yang mengganjal, tetapi aku tidak bisa mengidentifikasinya. Rasa penasaran ini tidak berhenti begitu saja. Sejak malam itu, aku menyelami google dengan membaca beberapa artikel, dan pengalaman orang-orang. Sekilas, aku sudah terbayang jawabannya. Namun, aku menahan diri untuk tidak terburu-buru karena ini perihal pilihan hidup. Aku tidak menuntut kalian untuk menyukai apa yang kupijaki, ataupun menjadi sama. Aku percaya setiap ora...

Life constantly serves many perspectives and choices. The v ariety of life purposes, however, is countless that might be diverse from one another. It even gradually changes along with our self-development. Our destiny absolutely depends on decisions that we have frequently made every single time . For that reason, we need to take this into accounts by defining our determination in life. It should be steady in matters of foundation as many distractions are unsolicitedly came , but the process is anything but easy.     Millions of people live on earth with many differences in terms of culture, economy, education, and fate. The similarity is that n one of us want to be sick physically, mentally, and emotionally , however, the pain is inevitable. As a human being, we have felt tone-deaf, vulnerable, and helpless particularly when comparing our self to the others. It significantly results an ingratitude sense making our mental health worst. In fact, w e alwa...

            Your existence was priceless as you beautifully accepted me with all your heart. I was afraid to lose you. I couldn’t imagine what life would be without you. Instead of blaming, I had to believe the fact that we were good but weren’t meant for each other. I felt like my whole entire life came crashing down. We had such good memories along with the future dreams that unfortunately weren’t going to be happened. I was regretful for not making you stay. I should be the one who toughly kept everything up.   It ultimately made me give up because you quickly run away. You decided to leave me. Since that, we didn’t have a second to explain to know what the reason was. We have been strangers for years. It’s really fantastic how fast someone who frequently brought happiness became a stranger.             I just want to say that I haven’t forgot you. The rough things w...

Cheating is a big issue in relationship causing boomerang if one-sided does. Cheater, betrayer, traitor, or whatever you name it, are never ever be wanted. There is no space for them who don’t understand what exactly commitment is. I’m kind of person who date someone to marry.   Once I determine, I’m eager to fight for anything to keep the relationship going. I choose him, but I cheated on him.             I tell this not to attract you to do the same thing, yet some lessons may be learnt. I won’t show everything in the detail. None of them are remembered. I just made mistake and realized I was totally wrong. People oftentimes do mistake, but I think this one can’t be forgotten. Who wants to be unappreciated, neglected, and unwanted? No one. Stupidly, I came across and let someone went in. You have to have an idea the difference between being nice and flirting. I thought he was trying to be nice as a human being, but it wa...

2018 Meski tak begitu besar, hanya 3 x 4 meter 2 dengan satu jendela di sisi pojoknya, tempat ini selalu menyimpan energi dahsyat, nyaman sekali. Karenanya, aku tidak mampu beranjak jauh, melihat bagaimana semesta semestinya bergerak. Aku kehilangan banyak proses untuk tumbuh, apalagi usiaku sudah kepala dua. Banyak hal yang harus digali namun aku memilih untuk mengunci diri. Disaat yang lain menggebu-gebu atas apa yang ingin diraih, aku masih saja berdiam diri dengan hati yang mengeras. Bicara tentang tujuan hidup? Ah, pikiranku jauh akan hal itu. Memkirkan hal-hal kecil saja belum tentu becus. Pikiranku sempit terlebih aku dikelilingi tembok yang menyekatku seolah-olah mengurung apa yang harus aku perjuangkan. This was my comfort zone and I loved it . Di penghujung tahun 2018, aku menyadari satu hal; I didn’t move at all but time always rotates. Selama setahun penuh aku hidup diatas kenyamanan. Aku merasa nikmat namun kosong, tidak ada hal yang bisa kubagi untuk orang lain...